2023: The Year of the Productive Slacker

You guys, I’m so done. I mean absolutely, extra crispy with a side of guac and done. This past holiday was the first time I’ve had my kids split up into two schools and I grossly underestimated my inability to divide myself. I also took on triple entertaining duties for Christmas and am winding up a weeklong family jam in Texas for the New Year. Let’s just say that I’m now familiar with the feeling chest pains whilst wrapping a gift at midnight and it ain’t pretty.

Am I alone here? Do any of you identify with me on this? I’m the conductor of my own toxic Polar Express and can’t seem out I find the guts to pull over and admit defeat. Why do we do this to ourselves?! Nobody would willingly accept a plate of baked goods from a crazy lady if they knew the amount of insanity that went into it, right?

This year I’m breaking my resolution to ditch resolutions and am resolving to slack off. I’m leaning out, people! I have been everything to everyone for too long and need a damn break. I have allowed myself to put everyone’s needs before mine and am going to make a change. I’m going to actually start putting my emergency mask on first so I can better serve the ones I love.

Here are some resolutions that will help me to constructively slack-off in 2023:

  1. Take back my workouts! My morning workouts are therapy and I need them to be mentally focused and to build up my energy for the day. So many times I have to miss my workouts to attend school functions or meetings. From now on I’m going to do my best to sneak out in the afternoons for a “makeup” workout on those days I have to skip. Even if it’s just a 30 minute walk or an online class it’s better than throwing side eye at my kid all afternoon cuz they made me miss tennis.

  2. Go out to dinner with the family at least once a week so someone else can do the damn work! My kids love “brinner” so a little IHOP on a weeknight is a winner for us. It also gives my husband and I a chance detach from the demands of the house and just focus on hanging with the kids. It’s a slacker’s dream!

  3. Let the other classroom parents handle the work! Ok, this is a little controversial but hear me out. I’m always eager to help and am available to the room moms if they need an extra set of hands but I’ve learned that what’s most important to my kids is that I’m there. They could care less if I’m in charge they just want to see my smiling face at their events. I’m honestly more concerned with maintaining a close relationship with our teachers since I need them in my corner more than the lady who wants me to bring in extra juice boxes. Which brings me on to another resolution…

  4. Feel free to bake less for classroom functions! This may sound ridiculous to most of you who aren’t obsessed with the kitchen like I am but brooooo, this one is a hard pill for me to swallow. I come from a long line of “scratch cooks” and it’s so difficult for me to simply pick up a store bought good. I’m going to start giving myself a free pass on this one because again, what matters most to my kids is a happy mom and not a crazy looking lady with a plate full of home-mades!

  5. Get more sleep! OMG this one resonates in my poor little sleep deprived soul! I have a 4-year-old who stealthily sneaks into my bed each night and wakes me up at 6:30am on the daily. I’m told I’ll miss these days down the road but for now I need to start getting my butt to sleep at least 30 minutes earlier instead of going down a late night Tiktok rabbit hole. I’m also going to allow myself 2-3 disco naps per week. If I’m dragging I need to catch some Z’s instead of overdoing it with espresso!

  6. Ask for help! This is a huge one, but wow is it important. I tend to take waaaay to much onto my shoulders and forget that help is always available to me should I need it. A quick call with my best friend or a conversation with my husband can take several things off my plate and I need to do this more often. Asking for help isn’t a sign of weakness, it’s a sign you’ve just pulled your head out of your butt!

  7. Take time for a little adult recess! This one goes beyond making time for the gym or simply going for a walk. I’m talking about making time for something you truly enjoy doing on your own. Like going into a store and actually getting to try things on or strolling by the beach without carrying everyone else’s crap. That’s what I’m talking about! Even if it’s just one hour I’m going to make sure I get to act my own age at least once a week!

  8. Seek out new opportunities to learn and grow! Why should the kids be the only ones with homework?! I want to make it a goal to take some sort of class or participate in a book club at least once a month. The idea is to try something new and learn something from the experience. Here’s a fun little tip: wine tasting/cocktail crafting/beer brewing classes all count! Booze it up!

  9. Feel free to cancel or adjust plans! I recently bought my friend a pair of socks that say, “Lover of Canceled Plans” and that is some gospel right there! Sometimes we plan something so far out and then realize as we get close to it that we just aren’t feeling it or maybe we’ve taken on too much. Cancel! Or better yet, if someone else cancels on out take advantage to roll with the changes and either go out alone or throw on some sweats. Everyone is a winner!

Wow, just writing these resolutions out is melting so much stress from my brain that I’m not even going to round it off with a 10th resolution! I’m going to go take a nap or book a class or call IHOP and tell them to reserve my regular table! Watch out 2023 because I’m going to be slacking all over the place!

*Originally published on www.305hive.com